For the past few weeks, our church has been going through a series called "Shattered Dreams", which happens to be coming at the perfect time for what seems like quite a few people. The first week we looked into the idea of control and how we cling onto it as if our lives depend on it, so easily forgetting that our dreams are not our own. This week, however, was beyond an explanation, the kind of message that makes it seem like God called you to his office just to meet with you and no one else, although I'm positive I was not alone in this.
I've shared with you a little of my own personal "shattered dream"; of the desire to work in the music industry and the illusion that because I was trusting and taking that leap of faith, God would hand me my dream job on a silver platter at a circus-like welcoming party upon my arrival to Nashville. After just 3 months of resumes and cover letters, I found refuge in the idea of throwing in the towel and moving home. Three months. That's all it took to feel as if I had been abandoned and cast off by the One who had instilled this desire to be here in the first place.
"And yet the truth is that God is most powerfully PRESENT even when he seems most apparently ABSENT." -Pete Wilson (my pastor)
It's so simple, God has promised that he will never for one second abandon us under any circumstance, yet we are so quick to assume he has when things aren't going the way that we had imagined they would. His PRESENCE should be felt in a powerful way in these moments of uncertainty. More often than not, I think we get lost while we're waiting on God's timing and fall back into our natural instinct to control and manipulate our circumstances to suit our needs. The tragedy is that while "we're focused on where we're going, we miss who we are becoming." -P.W. We continually ask God for just this one thing, convinced that it will make our lives more significant, whether it be a job, relationship, healing, etc. What we're missing is the person that He is creating us to be while we wait.
There have been many times in my life where I've truly felt abandoned because the dreams I had for my life were not panning out as I thought they should be. Peace and understanding is found when we realize that we can't always see the web that He is weaving. Uncertainty is no longer a word to be feared, but embraced. I've come to find that the moments I feel surrounded by chaos are the times when He is doing his best work.
"All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You.
You make me new, You are making me new."
--Gungor, "Beautiful Things"
Lizzly liz,
ReplyDeleteI like your blog, and I like this one in particular. Sometimes I forget that God has brought me where I am - I get so distracted about how I can make the things I want to happen, happen. You are right about how often we think that if we just had one more thing then we would be happy. Sometimes it's good to just wake up and be content with life.
As I was reading your blog, I had this weird flashback - You and I had gone to an evening service, I don't even remember what it was but there was a specific speaker or something, and we walked out of the church (Wally) in silence...we looked at each other just like, "...wow" and walked back to our dorms. I really miss times like that at ENC.
Anyways, keep writing, i like it :)
I remember that night, it was one of the FOL services...Darrell something was his name, i think? That was a good night. I miss it too :)
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